Therapy Thursdays: "Life Lessons To Be a Happier You""

(update: Yesterday for some reason, both of my blog posts did not get updated with my writing corrections. I was mortified after I realized it hours later. It has been fixed now :-))

A few months back, I received an email with this question, "Dear Milly, do you ever get sad and when you do, what do you do to get over it. I'm in a depressed funk and can't get out of it. " I ended up emailing the young lady, but I wanted to share a few of my answers with you. Of course I get sad and depressed sometimes; I'm human. But I learned a long time ago, that in most cases, you have the power to control your mind and especially your happiness. So here are some lessons to be a happier person.


1) Focus on the positive-Here are two ways I can think about my life: "Aww man, seven years ago, I quit a great paying job in finance so I could pursue my dreams, and it still hasn't happened." or " Aww man, that audition went wrong, I must suck." Holy crap! I'm already sad just writing that. Time to change my thinking. Here's how I choose to think about my life: "Seven years ago, I quit my high paying job to follow my dreams.  No, my dreams haven't come true YET, but they WILL and while I'm waiting for them to come true, I am having a lot of fun a long the way." or "Yes that audition didn't go so well, but hey, this prepares me for the next one, which I will rock." When you choose to FOCUS on the positive out of every situation, believe you me, your whole outlook on everything changes for the better. I hear JLO is a huge believe in positive thinking and her life seems kind of awesome.  Click below to read more tips:

Therapy Thurday: Couples Therapy

So you girls know, I'm a little addicted to reality shows. Recently, I've been hooked on Couples Therapy, a show that airs on VH1 and features couples whose relationships are breaking apart. You may know a few of the people on this show like Angelina from the Jersey Shore and her boyfriend, Hulk Hogan's ex wife and her new man, and then there's rapper DMX and his wife Tashara. This couple is the one that really saddens me. It's so obvious that she wants this relationship much more than he does. He admits he cheats. He admits he never wanted to marry her. He admits that he likes cheating, and sadly he admits that he really doesn't want to change. Now, many people I know seem to have lost faith in relationships in general. But, not me. Most of my family members have been married for years. Both sets of my grandparents were married over 50 years (until one of them died). Marriages/relationships can work (if both parties want them to). Now I'm no expert (I've only been married coming on two years) but here are some things that I learned from watching as well as getting tips from my happily married family members.

1) Communicate-Many women seem to think that men can automatically read their minds if they are upset. Not so, men think totally different from you. Totally!! Believe me, sometimes when I'm pissed at Mr. Milly, and I think he should automatically know why, when I finally confront him, he really has no idea. It's important you guys communicate often. Don't automatically assume that he knows what's wrong because most of the time he does not.

2) Intimacy-A lot of my family members read my blog so I don't want to get too explicit, but intimacy in a marriage/relationship is so important. If you start noticing that action in the bedroom has decreased, something may be wrong, and not just in your relationship, but maybe in his life. If men are stressed, many times they won't be able to perform. And girls, because you know I keep it real, make sure you are kegeling. That's super important too. After a certain age, giving birth to children, not exercising, the muscle down there can become super weak, even loose, and intimacy for both you and him can become a chore. (They feel the difference.) Tighten it up with kegels and a kegel device. My OB/GYN tells me that kegeling by itself is not that effective. Better to get a device to help. Email me if you want the name of the one he recommended. Click below to read more.