Therapy Thursdays: "Life Lessons To Be a Happier You""

(update: Yesterday for some reason, both of my blog posts did not get updated with my writing corrections. I was mortified after I realized it hours later. It has been fixed now :-))

A few months back, I received an email with this question, "Dear Milly, do you ever get sad and when you do, what do you do to get over it. I'm in a depressed funk and can't get out of it. " I ended up emailing the young lady, but I wanted to share a few of my answers with you. Of course I get sad and depressed sometimes; I'm human. But I learned a long time ago, that in most cases, you have the power to control your mind and especially your happiness. So here are some lessons to be a happier person.


1) Focus on the positive-Here are two ways I can think about my life: "Aww man, seven years ago, I quit a great paying job in finance so I could pursue my dreams, and it still hasn't happened." or " Aww man, that audition went wrong, I must suck." Holy crap! I'm already sad just writing that. Time to change my thinking. Here's how I choose to think about my life: "Seven years ago, I quit my high paying job to follow my dreams.  No, my dreams haven't come true YET, but they WILL and while I'm waiting for them to come true, I am having a lot of fun a long the way." or "Yes that audition didn't go so well, but hey, this prepares me for the next one, which I will rock." When you choose to FOCUS on the positive out of every situation, believe you me, your whole outlook on everything changes for the better. I hear JLO is a huge believe in positive thinking and her life seems kind of awesome.  Click below to read more tips:

Therapy Thursday: Dear Milly, What is your key to success?

Hey loves. I hope you're doing well. I received an email from someone recently that I'd like to share. It was from a reader who asked me if I had any secrets for achieving success. I'd like to start this off by saying that in my mind, I have not yet achieved success. Success to me is reporting beauty and lifestyle on a TV network. I love reporting. I'm nosy, and I love talking to random people on the street so reporting is perfect for me. But, I will admit that I have been given some amazing opportunities, and I'm incredibly grateful for every single one of them. Up until a few years ago, that wasn't the way my life was. A few years back, my life was pretty sad. But, when I changed my thinking, my life changed. It got so much better. Although, I"m not yet where I want to be, I know I will be one day. Here are some ways I believe you can achieve success. Click Below to Read More:

Therapy Thursday: Be a Risk Taker.

This is a quick post. I just wanted to show you girls the two covers of Cosmo for Latina's Magazine. As you can see, my Dominicana "friend in my head" Zoe Saldana is on the cover. If you've been reading me for a while, you know that my dream in life is to report or be a lifestyle host, but while I reach toward my dream, I will take any opportunity that I can learn from. So, when Cosmo for Latinas reached out to be to do the beauty for their debut issue, I said "Heck yeah!" And, although I was intimidated,  I still did it. I didn't fear taking a risk (actually, yes I did, I was scared out of my mind). But, the issue is finished, and I'm super proud. Moral of this,  don't ever let fear stop you from taking a risk-no matter what.  Many of the most successful peeps in the world say the reason they are, where they are, is because of taking risk.

 Last but def not least,  believe in yourself, because when you believe in yourself, you convince others  to believe in you too.



Hugs,

Milly

Therapy Thurday: Couples Therapy

So you girls know, I'm a little addicted to reality shows. Recently, I've been hooked on Couples Therapy, a show that airs on VH1 and features couples whose relationships are breaking apart. You may know a few of the people on this show like Angelina from the Jersey Shore and her boyfriend, Hulk Hogan's ex wife and her new man, and then there's rapper DMX and his wife Tashara. This couple is the one that really saddens me. It's so obvious that she wants this relationship much more than he does. He admits he cheats. He admits he never wanted to marry her. He admits that he likes cheating, and sadly he admits that he really doesn't want to change. Now, many people I know seem to have lost faith in relationships in general. But, not me. Most of my family members have been married for years. Both sets of my grandparents were married over 50 years (until one of them died). Marriages/relationships can work (if both parties want them to). Now I'm no expert (I've only been married coming on two years) but here are some things that I learned from watching as well as getting tips from my happily married family members.

1) Communicate-Many women seem to think that men can automatically read their minds if they are upset. Not so, men think totally different from you. Totally!! Believe me, sometimes when I'm pissed at Mr. Milly, and I think he should automatically know why, when I finally confront him, he really has no idea. It's important you guys communicate often. Don't automatically assume that he knows what's wrong because most of the time he does not.

2) Intimacy-A lot of my family members read my blog so I don't want to get too explicit, but intimacy in a marriage/relationship is so important. If you start noticing that action in the bedroom has decreased, something may be wrong, and not just in your relationship, but maybe in his life. If men are stressed, many times they won't be able to perform. And girls, because you know I keep it real, make sure you are kegeling. That's super important too. After a certain age, giving birth to children, not exercising, the muscle down there can become super weak, even loose, and intimacy for both you and him can become a chore. (They feel the difference.) Tighten it up with kegels and a kegel device. My OB/GYN tells me that kegeling by itself is not that effective. Better to get a device to help. Email me if you want the name of the one he recommended. Click below to read more. 

Therapy Thursdays: Sometimes the Best Things in Life Are the Things You Don't Plan.

Exactly seven years ago today, I woke up extremely annoyed.  That night I was supposed to be going on a blind date. Truthfully, I was tired of getting set up on dates. Lately, everyone and their mama was trying to set me up and it was becoming super annoying and so uncomfortable. For 2005, one of my new years resolution was never to go on  a blind date again. But my friend kept insisting that I meet this guy. Apparently he was wickedly smart, funny and resembled The Rock. I'd heard all of that before (well except the Rock part) and wasn't too interested. But just to make my friend happy, I decided to go. That night I was meeting the guy in the city. An hour before the date was to begin, my roommate walked into the apartment. I was having a lazy day, still in my pajamas watching reruns of The Golden Girls. She asked me, "Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for your date?" I responded, "Girl, I"m pretty sure this will be nothing"  She said, "Stop thinking like that, this may be the best date ever. Get ready!" I shrugged my shoulders and continued to watch my fave girls: Rose, Dorothy, Blanche and Sophia. About 15 minutes later, I decided maybe I should get ready. So I threw on an old shirt and jeans, put my hair in a bun, and was about to leave but for some reason something told me to head back, change and actually try to look decent.  So I did.
Click below to read about my first date with Mr. Milly.

Therapy Thursdays: Stop Worrying about What Others Are Doing!

A few days ago I was taking a new set of professional headshots. The photographer had a great assistant who wanted to do my makeup. Since her makeup looked flawless, I agreed, and after she was done, I was so pleased with her work.  My makeup looked so great and finally I had headshot pics that looked decent. (I am incredibly un photogenic.) While she was doing my makeup she was complaining that she wasn't getting enough work, and she didn't have enough money etc. This girl's makeup skills were awesome.  She was super pretty and seemed really sweet with great energy, so the first thing I said to her after her complaining was, "You're incredibly talented, why not start doing youtube videos, you can make some serious money." Right away she told me, "nah, no one would notice me, there's way too many people doing youtubes." Sadly, I've heard that before in many things not just youtube. I'll suggest an area someone may want to work in and they'll tell me, "No that field is oversaturated, I can't work there, or no one would notice me." That's a big mistake in thinking.  STOP looking at what other people are doing and focus on what you're doing!!! If you keep worrying about what others are doing believe me, you will not get anywhere in life because every field will intimidate you. Click Below to Read more

Therapy Thursdays: When Someone Tells You It Can't Be Done, Make Sure You Prove them Wrong!

 A few years back, I attended the NBC digital Journalism school in NYC for 8 weeks. One of my assignments was to interview someone spectacular. I immediately thought of this young girl Leanna Archer. She was a 12 year old who had started her own hair care line (at the age of 9), and was making about $100,000 a year with it. Long story short, I contacted her dad (who had actually quit his job to begin working for her) and asked if I could interview her.  I went over to her house, and met her amazing family, (beyond nice people) and had a great time while interviewing her. One of the questions I asked this young girl was,  "Where does your motivation came from?" Her answer still resonates with me to this day. “When someone tells me no, I work extra hard to prove them wrong.”

In life you will hear NO a lot. You will hear, "You Can’t do this" or "You Can’t Do That." It happens to everyone. HOWEVER, the difference between someone who is a winner and someone who isn’t, is the winner never listens to NO and doesn't give up. Leanna was told many times she could not start her company at 9 years old. Think about it. You probably would have told her the same thing. I probably would have too. But this now 15 year old didn’t listen to the naysayers, she listened to her heart and she never gave up. She kept going. And now at sixteen she is making over $100,000 a year because of her company. The moral of this story: If you are confident about your abilities, if you know that something can be done, and someone tells you no, prove them wrong.  Don't ever think someone knows more than you about you! You can do it! Don't give up. If a nine year old with a vision can make sure her dreams come true, then why can't you?

I'll leave you with a great quote from Leanna

"Dreams are Wild, but they are wild enough to come true"

So true Leanna, I'm making sure to try to make my dreams come true. I hope you guys will do the same. Remember you've got one life to live, make sure you're living it doing something you love.  And when someone tells you no, you make sure to prove them wrong!

Hugs, 

Milly

 

Therapy Thursdays: Mr. Milly's Guide - Six Things to NEVER do on a First Date

Girls, this article is written by Mr. Milly. I only edited it a little. All of these opinions are his own. I'm aware it's not Thursday. I forgot to post this yesterday. So without further Ado, here's Mr. Milly:

"When Milly asked me to tell you girls Six Things You Should Never Do On a First Date, I wasn't sure why she thought I would be an expert in that but since she threatened no cooking for a month I knew I better get right to it. These are six things you should never do on a first date if you're looking for a serious relationship. Click below to read Mr. Milly's Words of Wisdom:

Therapy Thursdays-Stop Living Your Life For Other People!

Hey loves, how are you. Mr. Milly was supposed to be posting his Six Things You Should Never Do On a First Date post, but he's late with it. I told him that if it's late next week, I won't be cooking dinner for a month. But today I want to talk about something that is one of the worst things you can do, and that's care what people think of you, and put others opinions over your own. Now before we begin, what are you drinking? I've got my white tea but unfortunately I drank most of it, so how about I offer you some pomegranate lemonade instead. Yum, that's Mr. Milly's favorite.

There was a time in my life when I pretty much based all of my decisions on what others would think of me, or I valued people's opinions over my own intuition-that was a rough time, and probably the time when I made the worst decisions of my life.   Click below to read more:

Therapy Thursdays-No New Therapy Thursdays

Hey guys, no new therapy Thursdays. Mr. Milly was supposed to do one called Six Things You Should never Do on a First Date, but he got side tracked with work, so no new ones, but try to have it next week. Have an amazing day! Here are some old Therapy Thursdays that I hope will help you!

Ways To Keep Happy
Ways to be a Power Woman



Hugs,

Milly

Therapy Thursdays: The Only Thing Hate Does, Is Block You From Being Great

Hey love, how are you? I hope great. I just finished making a smoothie. Can I offer you some? It may not look great, but it sure taste good. I put in some Cacao today so it tastes like a chocolate milkshake. (FYI: Cacao is an amazing antio-oxidant, and contains a crazy amount of sulfur which is great for healthy hair skin and nails.) I know you don't like the greens taste too much so hopefully the cacao will make it taste better.  

 Today, I want to talk to you about hate, and how holding it in your heart, will block your greatness. For a time, I hated someone who had wronged me. Hated, loathed them, wished every bad thing imaginable to them. And guess what the hate did, it did nothing to them, but it brought everything bad to me. Click below to read more.

Therapy Thursdays-Visualize, Oprah's Life Class

Hey guys, no new therapy Thursday today, but I highly recommend that you watch Oprah's new show Oprah's Life Class. If you don't want to watch the whole series, please watch the episode that aired last night. I truly believe in it. It's about visualization, and if you visualize the life you want it will happen. Jim Carrey was on Oprah's show before and he basically told her how he visualized his success and it happened.  I've talked about my vision board before and how things have happened exactly as I envisioned them.   I give you an example below.  I know the Oprah episode airs again today in NYC at 4:00pm on Oprah's channel. Not sure when it airs anywhere else. Anyway, here are some old therapy Thursdays that I hope will help you this week.



Don't Compare Yourself
Don't Compare Your Journey
Don't Look Down on Anyone 
Vision Board & TV Segment






Also, today is the last day to enter my Kim Kardashian Lancome Paris Wedding makeup giveaway. 5 of you will win all of the Lancome Paris makeup used on Kim Kardashian for her wedding. Enter today or forever hold your piece (or peace?). Who knows which one it is? If you do, leave a comment. lol

Also I recently did an interview with a site called myskin for Hispanic Heritage Month. You can read it here. 


Hugs,


Milly

Therapy Thursday: "Sometimes Life will Hit You in the Head With a Brick, Don't Lose Faith!"

This morning I walked by the Apple store on the Upper West Side. There was a memorial set up for Steve Jobs, and when I tell you countless people were hysterically crying, I couldn't believe it. Me, being the reporter I am, I had to ask why they were crying so hard for someone they really didn't know. One man told me, "because he was my hero."Another woman told me "because he made my son think it was cool to be smart." Her son was next to her with tears in his eyes too.  I too was truly saddened by the passing of Steve Jobs.  For the last few years, when I began to feel defeated or rejected, one of the first things I did, was go to my computer bookmarks and pull up this speech he did six years ago.




I also carry a copy of the speech with me as well.  I tweeted about the speech a few times in the past  because I found it to be just that inspiring. Steve Jobs was born out of wedlock, adopted, dropped out of college. He would  exchange coke bottles for 5 cents to eat, and slept on his friends' floors because he didn't have anywhere else to go, but through all that adversity,  he became the most successful man of our generation. Later in life, Apple fired him. While being fired, he started PIXAR-the most successful animation company in the world, and he still came back to Apple with a bang.  So, my question to you today is, what's your excuse again for not following your dreams?   As Mr. Jobs said, "Your time is limited, don't spend it living someone elses life."

Steve Jobs lived out his own dreams, and inspired millions in the process. 

That's an amazing life.


RIP Steve Jobs-thank you for being an inspiration to me and to millions of others.


Hugs,


Milly

Therapy Thursday: Don't Settle When It Comes To Your Life.

Hey loves, how's your Thursday starting. You know today is Coffee day. You can get yourself a free cup in all of these places. But as for me, since I now only drink one cup a day, I think I'm good with my cup of Cafe Bustelo. Can I offer you some? How do you take it? I like mine black with 3 tablespoons of sugar. You too? Great! lol

Today let's talk about Not Settling When It Comes To Your Life.  I've seen it way too many times with so many unhappy people. People who gave up because they didn't see things happening with their dreams, and now they have settled and are miserable, stuck in dead-end jobs, wishing they had pursued their goals. In life, there will be so many people that will constantly tell you NO, there will be so many people that will  try to stop you from getting to where you belong, and deter you from following your dreams but don't listen. Find your way! You can do it. If I had listened to people, I would have settled a long time ago. I'd still be in finance, behind a desk, depressed, looking at the clock every second hoping it was  closer to 5 so I could run out.  Yea the money was great, but guess what, my mental state was horrible. Life is not about being complacent or settling.  Life is about being happy, and getting what you want out of it, and not listening to people when they say NO to you. You have one life to live, remember that! Don't give me that excuse "Well Milly, I can't do this, I've already been rejected a million times." Who cares? Rejection has happened to the most successful people millions of times, but the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people, is that successful people found a way! They never gave up. That"s the only difference.  When it comes to what you want out of life, if you truly want it believe me, your mind will find ways to get it and you will be successful. It may take time, but remember Rome wasn't built in a day.  Here's a small example of something that recently happened to me where I found a way, this is also how I try to approach every situation in life.

Outfit of the Day & Weekend Updates & Cuba Restaurant Review & Glozell

Hey loves, how was your weekend. Mine was pretty good, although I lost my camera in a NYC cab. I was so upset about it for a few minutes. I had a lot of pics in there that I hadn't downloaded yet, pics of my family, funny and ugly pics of me, but you can't cry over spilled milk. I've contacted the cab people and hope they'll find it. Otherwise my weekend was great. Mr. Milly has been away on business for a while so we hadn't done a date night in a few weeks. So we headed out yesterday for a night on the town. Here's the outfit I had on.

 Hair done by Elia Salon (Get the beautylogic special)
Michael Kors Dress (Marshalls)
Mr. Milly didn't take a pic of my shoes but they were Christian Siriano Payless collection. Click here
Bag-H&M
Necklace -Kara (42nd street store)

Anyway we headed out for date night at this restaurant Cuba that we love love love! I always advise couples to def make time for date nights. It's so important. Now date night doesn't have to be going out. Not true at all. Some of the best date nights Mr. Milly and I had were at home with a home cooked meal, candles, great music, and sexy lingerie! LOL, But anyway last night we headed to Cuba restaurant, after getting out of the cab, I realized Holy Crap, I left my camera there!! But after about 30 minutes, I got over it and enjoyed the delish meal at Cuba.

If you go, I highly rec the Shrimp Enchiladas. So yummy

It was delish.
Then after we went dancing, and then headed home.
Fun Date Night.
Anyway, I wanted you guys to watch this video if possible.
My brother always sends me funny youtubes and he sent me vids of this woman Glozell.
I've been watching her videos, and she is beyond hilarious.
She has an amazing following on youtube, over 300,000 subscribers.
Now this video I'm showing you isn't one of her funny ones.
It's the video o of how and why she started doing youtubes.
It's so inspiring.
The message is  sometimes when you think something is the worst thing for you, it could actually be the best thing.
Enjoy it!


Tonight I am covering the Latina Magazine 15th Anniversary Red Carpet. I'm so excited. I was initially not invited to cover it, but I got myself in. When someone tells you that you can't do something, don't listen to them. Find your way in when it comes to anything in your life.

Anyway, I'll report back tomorrow.


Hugs,

Milly

Life Advice Thursdays: Ways to Be a Power Woman!

A good girlfriend of mine constantly makes me proud. By the time this woman was 25, she already had an amazing career  and now at 30, she just bought an insane apartment in Brooklyn. She's had such great life experiences and such a lucrative career in her short life. Recently she left a job to take on another one, and her last job practically begged her to stay on. So I asked her recently to please give me and my girls (you guys) advice on how we all can be such power women. So here's a few things that she has done in her life that she feels has helped her  reach serious success:

"1)Make Yourself Invaluable -I go into every job thinking how can I be invaluable and different. What can I do that no one else can? If you start wanting to be like everyone else, guess what, you will be like everyone else, and you'll be the first one to be let go when there are layoffs. Go into every single job thinking how can I be invaluable, and believe me your mind will find ways to be.

2) Don't be too big for any job. -In my last office, one day I had a very important meeting. My assistant was having serious issues with our copier and I needed over 300 copies made within 30 minutes. The people that fix the copy machine couldn't come for another few hours, so I went downstairs, took my heels off, and my blazer and went to WORK trying to fix that copier. After three minutes it was fixed. Don't be too big for any job. If you need to get your hands dirty for your career, do it.

3) Don't depend on other people-this is a huge mistake I see so many people make. They depend on people to get their stuff done. No one is going to care more about your career than you. I have an assistant, but honestly if something is super important I just do it myself because I need to make sure it's done right for my sake. If my assistant screws up, no one is looking at her, but all eyes will be on me.

4) Stop waiting for people to help you-During college I had so many amazing internships, and so many people gave me their cards and told me to immediately call them after graduation because they would help me. The day after my graduation I called every one of them. Guess how many people called me back. NOT ONE. But now being in this business I realize talk is super cheap. People give their cards out to everyone and anyone. When someone gives you their card and promises that they will help you, don't bank on it. Find ways to make your own path, and your own way. Yes reach out to them, but make sure that is not the only thing you depend on.

5) Answer your emails immediately-When it comes to emails, I am super crazy. If you email me during the day you will hear back from myself or my assistant within the hour. Why? I like you to know that I'm on top of my stuff.  Once people know that, they know they are in good hands.

6) Say hello to everyone, you never know who can help you-This is super important. I know people that walk by janitors, door people and say nothing. Not me, I say hello to every single person I encounter. You never know who can help you. My janitor actually saved my ass one day. I was running to a meeting, and by the time I got to the meeting I realized I didn't have my spreadsheets with me, I was such in a rush to be early, I had left them on my desk at home. I called my janitor and told him the problem, and he asked one of the porters in my building to bring my stuff to me. Had I not been nice to him, do you think he would have ever done that for me? Heck no! People like to be acknowledged and if you go around ignoring people, why the heck would they want to help you.

7)Don't talk ish about anyone you work with -This is a huge problem amongst people at work and I hate to say this, but since I know Milly isn't using my name, a huge issue amongst women. They forge alliances with other women, then they complain about someone, and then everyone in the office knows about it. Huge mistake. If you have issues with someone at work, the only person that needs to know about it, is a human resource person or someone that can actually help you. Once I know someone is gossiping about someone else at work, I look at that person as just that, an office gossip and usually I want nothing to do with them. Remember this, you never look good when you talk about someone else. Never. As soon as I find out you're talking about someone else, I immediately think you're talking about me too.

8) Be on top of your industry: There have been so many changes in my industry, but guess what I'm on top of every single one of them.  When I find out about new technologies, I want to be the first one to know about them, and how they can make me better and usually these new technologies are designed to make your job easier so make sure you are learning about everything new that comes through your business. Don't think that your job will keep you because you're a good person and you don't need to learn new things. That's bs. In the end, if you don't keep up on new advances at work, you'll get fired in a heartbeat.

9) Don't be ruthless: I see a lot of women try to get ahead by cutting a colleague's throat. Milly will tell you that I am a huge believer in Karma, and I've seen all of these women who cut someone else's throat at work, get screwed in the end. I know it may be tempting to step on someone else's toes to get ahead, but I've learned in life, you don't need to do that. Your work should speak for itself. I remember this one girl at one of my first jobs, who got this girl fired. A few months later, the girl who got her fired, got fired too. She went on a job interview a few months later for an amazing job, and guess who was the interviewer, the girl that she got fired. Needless to say not only did the girl not get the job, but the other girl refused to interview her. See what I'm saying.

10) Have balance: I am a workaholic, no doubt. But, I do make sure I have a personal life. I take yoga, go out to dinner with my girls, and I'm in a strong relationship. Many women tend to focus on their careers in their twenties and thirties, and that's great (I did that too!) but you should have some sort of social life. I know someone who is 44 years old who was so focused on her career, she now has only that, her career, no friends, no nothing. Do you think she's happy? Although money is a great thing to have, it will never make you happy. Try to have balance when it comes to your life. 

Hope this helps

Thanks friend.

My girlfriend has asked that we not use her name. 


Do you guys have any tips on how to be a power woman?

Share them,


Hugs,

Milly

LIFE ADVICE: WAYS TO KEEP HAPPY

Remember those t-shirts from the 80's that had the saying, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." They were so simple, but they made so much sense. In life, we worry about things that really we have no control over. We worry about issues, that in essence have nothing to do with us. I think in this world it’s so easy to be down. As soon as you turn on the news you’re hearing about either wars, or natural disasters that are taking over our planet, and many times we can surround ourselves with people who many not always want the best for us, or they think they do want the best for us, but they tear us down. Maybe they don’t mean to. Maybe that’s the only way they know. For example one of my family members used to always  tell me every single time she saw me that I was beautiful except for my chicken legs. Ummm, ok-thanks. But there are ways we can be happy-even when the world is telling us we shouldn't be. Here are some ways that I have found have helped me keep sane happy. 

Remember these t-shirts.They made so much sense.

1)    I don’t take myself too seriously- There are times in life to be serious, but don't go around life taking everything too serious. Mr. Milly always says that one reason he fell for me was because I laugh at things that some people probably wouldn't find funny. Like for some reason, I tend to  trip when I wear heels, all the time, and always in front of a huge crowd. I find it funny, but most people would probably be mortified. Not me, I just bought  cute 4 inch heels last week. My motto is: "If i trip, I trip, it happens to the best of us." Life is too short to go around taking yourself too serious.Laugh at the mistakes you make some time.

2)    Laugh a lot. I am the first to admit that I love to laugh. Now I'm not saying walk around the street like a giggling idiot, but don't be afraid to laugh. Laughing keeps you young (and keeps those pesky wrinkles away) and when I laugh, man I laugh. My girlfriend always shushes me when I laugh because she says I do it too loud. But why hold in your happiness-that’s no fun.

3)     Don’t take things too personally: The reporting business is one of those businesses where people will tear you down in a second. Literally you can come in thinking you look amazing, and if you get a snarky casting person, immediately they may tell you, you're not good enough, your clothes are ugly or you sound like a man. (I once went to an audition with a bad cold and sounded like Barry White.) When someone gives me really negative criticism, I tend not to take it personally at all. If they are being super snarky, I just attribute it to them having a bad day and venting on me. But I don’t take it personally. Taking things too personally will not only make you unhappy but it will also allow peoples thoughts of you to shape your thoughts of yourself-which is super dangerous. 

4)    Smile-I love to smile and I do it often.  Again I'm not saying walk around the street like a smiling idiot either, but if someone smiles at you, smile back,and if you see someone that looks down and out, smile at them. Your smile may change their whole day. Smiling makes you happier. Do you know according to this source www.pickthebrain.org Smiles are more attractive than makeup: A research study conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women more attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup. To find out about  more interesting facts about smiling click here. 

5)    Keep this in your head: You’re amazing-  When I wake up every morning, I tell myself this. And when I'm feeling bad, (because yes it does happen to me too) I remind myself of things I have done in my life that have been pretty cool. And if I can’t think of anything, I call my family and friends who for some reason seem to think I’m a lot more amazing than I think I am. You’re amazing, and that’s it. Tell yourself that often, You will believe it, remember that.

6)    Keep yourself looking great-I once wrote a post about this, so I’ll direct you to that post. Click here. Although you may think this is unimportant, this is actually really important, probably one of the most important things you can do for yourself. When you  put time and energy into your appearance, you will feel amazing!

7)    Don’t be Reactive-be PROACTIVE- a huge pet peeve of mine is when I am around someone who complains about something and is not taking any steps to fix it. Like I always had issues with my legs growing up. None of the women in my family had legs like mine. All of them had these perfect legs with calf muscles that would make Tina Turner jealous. But, my legs looked like long sticks. So after crying about them for years, I realized crying wasn’t going to make them get any nicer. So I worked them out and kept working them out, and finally I got calf muscles. YIPPEE! Now Tina Turner wouldn't be jealous of my legs, but every time I look at them, I get happy, because I remember how they looked before, and in my opinion, with the time and work I put in, they look a lot better. 

8)    Go after your dreams-I’ve met so many people in my life who have chosen to be complacent. They work jobs they hate because  they believe that’s just the way life is or they believe that they are not good enough or they just don’t have time to follow their dreams. That’s nonsense. You are good enough, and you do have time-just make the time. But don’t live a life where you are working to making someone else’s dreams come true, because that’s just a miserable life, and stop believing you’re not good enough. You are not only good enough, you are BETTER THAN GOOD ENOUGH. You were meant to be EXTRAORDINARY, not ordinary.

9)    Try not to wake up with negative energy. Last week I woke up and  I was late to an important meeting, and from the start I was saying, this is going to be a crappy day. Guess what? It was crappy. And it was crappy because I made it that way. Yesterday, again I woke up late for an important meeting, and this time I chose to think it would still be a great day, guess what, it was.  It was actually a better day than I expected. You attract what you believe about yourself and about life.

10)  Help Someone- I am a huge believer in helping other people. I always tell new bloggers if they ever need help in any way, I am here to help. In this life many people are way too threatened by others. The reality is, there is room enough for all of us to succeed. I truly believe the more people I help, the more good things will happen in life, and some pretty amazing things have happened to me recently.  So don’t be afraid to help someone do better, because believe me it will come back to you.

I hope  this helps you.

What are some ways that keep you happy?

My plan is to do life advice post every Thursday.

Also if you haven’t entered my Salma Hayek Nuance giveaway please do so. These products are amazing, and 5 of you will win 5 of my favorites. Here’s the link.

Hugs,

Milly

Milly & Mr. Milly Guide, What Not To Do After a Breakup

So last week I was heading to Whole Foods when I spotted a young girl crying hysterically in front of the bank. I was about to approach her and ask her if she was OK .(I’ve learned never to ignore people when you see them in despair even if you don't know them.) But then I noticed she was crying into the phone. She was crying so loud and hysterically the whole block could hear her conversation. After hearing what she was saying, I felt so bad for her. I wanted to grab the phone and scream “NOOOOOOO.” This poor girl was begging this guy not to leave her. Her exact words to him were “Please don’t leave me, I love you, Please don’t leave me!” I felt so bad for this girl. How sad that she was begging a man to be with her. After I bought my groceries, I came home and immediately began inspired to write a post on things never to do after a breakup. Mr. Milly was home and he chimed in too. So here’s our list:

1)    Don’t ever call the person who dumped you-EVER! This is a huge mistake. Mr. Milly says if a man dumps you, best thing for you to do is never to call him again. You might think by calling him, he'll realize how much he needs or misses you. Mr. Milly says WRONG.Calling him will make him think you’re pathetic, and even worst- desperate and he will lose any left over respect he has for you. I know it’s hard, but just think of it like this, as soon  you call him, he’s thinking, "she's a loser." If you’re about to call him, call your best friend or close family member instead.

2)    If a man wants to leave you-help him pack his bags. Don’t ever beg anyone to stay with you. You’re too gifted, too beautiful, to beg anyone to be with you.  I know it’s hard, maybe you have children together, but don't do it. When you give someone that much power over your life, it's never a good thing, plus, you shouldn't have to beg anyone to want to be around you anyway. Mr. Milly says by not begging or going crazy over him, you're giving him a strong message that your life continues with or without him.

3)    Don’t social media stalk. That means no facebook stalking them to see who they have been talking to, no twitter or myspace (Do people still use this?). Nothing! If anything get them off your friends list. I know this is hard, but honestly what does looking through their facebook and twitter do but just make you more depressed and sad. It’s a bit of a self-torture Don’t do it.

4)    Don’t go right away into another relationship-After a break up you need time for you. Don’t right away think that getting into a relationship will do the trick to get over him. I don’t think this is always a good idea. Better to  spend time with yourself and your friends and realize what you want, then run right into the arms of another man who probably won't be Mr. Right because you're just looking for anyone to get over that first jerk.

5)    Stop reliving the relationship-Meaning if you guys had great time at Central Park-get the heck out of Central Park. Go to prospect Park. Don’t do things that remind you of this person because that will just lead you to feel more depressed and want to talk to this person. If you fell in love over watching The Notebook together, throw that Notebook DVD out the window. This may sound harsh, but this is what you have to do to get over the person.

6) STAY BUSY! Don't stay all day crying, and day dreaming and wondering what he is doing. Go outside, take a walk, hang out with your friends, go see a movie, go get your hair and nails done.  Go take a pole dance class or trapeze class. Do anything! KEEP BUSY.

7) Finally realize the relationship is over. It's done, and maybe you guys had a good time while it lasted, but this was just another person. The world is filled with people who will think you're amazing but remember in order to find true love, you must love yourself first.

Hope this helps. 

Hugs, 

Milly & Mr. Milly

Life Advice: Keep Positive, Things Will Happen

Last year, I got rejected a few times for tv positions. Well the last interview, I actually got the reporter job but then they found out I couldn’t drive (I’m a new Yorker, we use the subway.) and then they promptly rescinded the offer. I was depressed, angry, and felt downright negative, and doubtful of my abilities. Each time I came home feeling defeated, but then my friends and family reminded me of my abilities, my strengths, and my talent, and then I began to feel positive again. (That’s why I always tell you it’s important to have positive people around you because negative people only contribute to your failures.) Anyway after those bad job experiences, with the help of great friends and family, my positive energy came back with a bang. I realized that just because it hadn't worked out with those opportunities didn’t mean anything. I knew things would eventually work. I knew I had a talent and I knew I wanted things badly and I knew my positive energy, hard work, and belief would lead to something.  Now don’t think that I just remained positive, sat down on my couch  and just ate bon bons all day and hoped that someone would finally realize I was wonderful and call me. No!!
I kept going, I kept working hard! I keep trying. I kept networking, building my contacts, and I’m still trying. This year I’ve been fortunate to have many opportunities come my way.  I truly believe it’s due to me remaining positive, and not allowing anyone to tell me no. One of those opportunities, I will be announcing very soon to you girls and I’m super excited about it. But my advice to you is this, STAY POSITIVE. Even in your darkest hour, don’t allow negativity to take over your life because that only leads to more and more failures. Negative energy will only lead you to be miserable and have a negative life. (I know so many people who live very negative lives and it’s tragic, and a horrible way to live.)  Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you’re capable of. And don’t ever allow anyone to deter you from your dreams. No one knows your abilities better than you.  The most successful people got rejected hundreds of time, but they were positive in their abilities and in themselves, and kept right on going. I love this quote by Thomas Edison.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
— Thomas A. Edison

Keep positive, stay confident in your abilities, and believe me things will happen.

Hugs,

Milly

Life Advice: Don't Compare Your Journey or You're Asking For Failure

Hey loves, how was your weekend? I honestly did a lot of house cleaning, and that’s it. For some reason this year, 2011, I’ve become a neat freak. Lol Anyway,  I haven’t done a life advice post in awhile but this weekend, I was with a girlfriend, and I knew I had to do one. My girlfriend is this beautiful, intelligent college grad with an amazing career. However, she doesn’t feel like she is where she should be. She feels she should be a lot more accomplished, based on what other people she knows are doing. She constantly compares her journey and her life to others, and every time she does that, guess what, she ends up losing sight of all her accomplishments and feeling DEFEATED and depressed. I’m telling you now comparing your journey to others is a huge mistake and it's so  dangerous for you. As she was complaining, I was in shock. This girl is so amazing, so smart, so brilliant, so beautiful, so accomplished, but because of her comparing her journey to someone else’s she feels she has done absolutely nothing with her life. I couldn't believe when she told me she felt like a "loser." This girl is the farthest thing from a loser. But that's what happens when you compare yourself. You lose sight of how great you are because you're focusing on someone elses greatness.  Comparing your journey to someone elses is the absolute worst thing you can do, because everyone’s journey is different.  Everyone has a different life circumstance, and being upset because someone has more than you, or has gotten a little farther than you is the worst thing you can do because it will make you lose sight of all you’ve accomplished.

You have your own life, your own gifts, your own talents, your own network, your own journey, and just because someone might be doing a little more than you are NOW, doesn’t mean that things won’t change in the future for you.  However, the first thing you have to do is NOT COMPARE YOUR JOURNEY TO THEIRS. Focus on your life, focus on becoming the best you can be in your field, and honestly be happy for someone else when they reach success, but then go back to focusing  on making YOU better. All that energy you’re wasting focusing on someone else could be used to advance your career or whatever you want to do in your life. Remember you can do anything, as long as you believe you can. Here’s a great quote by Henry Ford:

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

Remember that!

Hugs,

Milly

Ps: Later on today I'm kicking off my 4 year anniversary giveaways.
First giveaway is 2 clarisonics for you and a person you love. Details will be up soon